I’m feeling anxious lately.
I can read Advent blogs about joyful waiting, listen to the Christmas-music-only radio station, and truly desire the Peace of the season, but I find myself battling Christmas anxiety.
It’s the quickened heartbeat, sweaty palms, itchy scalp variety of anxiety (yes, my scalp gets itchy when I’m anxious).
And it’s so unwelcome.
At my house, none of our Christmas decorations are up yet. It’s been a crazy fall, and we want to enjoy the season, but we missed our “traditional” date to put them up, and I wonder if I’ll get to enjoy this enough—it makes me anxious.
I’ve heard too much about dressy Christmas parties and the fun that everyone has at this time of year, but I look at my calendar and wonder if my holiday season has enough and whether I should host a gathering—it makes me anxious.
I’ve done zero Christmas shopping and I shouldn’t procrastinate because I don’t enjoy shopping much anyway. I wonder if I’ll be able to put enough time aside to get something meaningful for family and friends. Then I dread the time it takes to wrap those gifts—all the shopping and giving makes me anxious.
I really, really want to make Christmas meaningful for my growing family, but I’m not sure how, nor am I sure I have time, brain space, or creativity to make it great—I get anxious for the future of my family.
Tempers flare everywhere—in the long lines and in my own heart, then I’m mad that I’m mad, but anxious to keep the peace and that makes me even more anxious and less peaceful.
At the “most wonderful time of the year,” I find myself feeling less wonderful and more anxious than usual—I must be missing something!
Anyone with me?
I don’t want it to be that way.
So, I’m going to do something about it.
I’m going to stop and take a deep breath. . . probably several deep breaths.
When I feel the anxiety coming on, I will stop. I will close my eyes if I can and take a deep breath. I will take several breaths until I feel myself centering and losing the anxiety. Then I will remind myself of the two simple goals I set for myself this month: to enjoy my home and my family. That’s it. I can let go of all other stuff because it won’t matter years from now.
Hopefully, my Christmas anxiety will lessen. Hopefully, I will be able to spread joy rather than anxiety to my family and friends.
May God’s peace fill me, my house, and our world. Amen.
(Interested in hearing more from me? Check out my book, The Book of Womanhood)