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Danger in “The One”

When we’re young (and often as we age), we dream of how some day “the one” will sweep us off our feet, be our absolute “soulmate,”and make us blissfully happy forever after. It’s what our romantic comedies are all about—that one person we’ve all been waiting for. Do a simple internet search, and everyone is thinking and writing about it.…

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We’re Really Not That Different. . .

Last Sunday morning, across the world, many were out shopping on a regular day during the holidays. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a huge explosion took 250 of their lives. 250 lives taken in a moment. The location was Baghdad, the holiday Ramadan, and the explosion was claimed by ISIS. The first report was 150 lives, and I was dismayed. Dismayed…

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What is a Woman’s Highest Calling?

She sat across from me in my office, trying to decide what to do next—grad school or get married. And then she said it. “Well, a woman’s highest calling is to be a wife and mother…” I was a little taken aback. At the time I was single, in my mid-thirties, completing a PhD. If she was right, I’d not…

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Unequally Yoked

When I was dating, there was a lot of thought about finding my equal. . . No, not my equal. In fact, I was looking for my superior, for that was what I was told I needed as my “spiritual head.” (never mind the fact that “spiritual head” is not actually a biblical phrase, or that “head” often means “source”…

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Romantic Comedy Mythology

Dear Movie Producers: You have really messed up my understanding of romantic relationships. I am not a movie buff, but I like movies, and am deeply affected by what I see. Honestly, I have a hard time separating movies (and books, for that matter) from reality. I feel like the actors and characters are my friends, or myself, and that…

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Problems with Purity

The youth leader held a beautiful rose in her hand, stated that it symbolized Jane’s purity, and then proceeded to tell Jane’s story. First, Jane kissed a boy and then they broke up, so the leader pulled a petal off the rose and it dropped to the floor, diminishing the rose’s beauty. Jane dated another boy for a year, but…

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Marriage: There Are No Ideals

My Christian subculture tells me that the best marriage is one where the husband and wife lead ministry together. Anything else is somehow sub-par. Following this, I always wanted to marry a pastor. I thought it would be the ideal life—we’d minister together and God would be glorified. Then I dated a pastor, and it’s not all it’s cracked up…

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Why Single People Make Great Pastors

She said they are hesitant to promote her to the student pastor position because she is unmarried. She has a four-year pastoral ministry degree, has worked for years in student ministry at this egalitarian church, but she is about to be passed over for a man who is just graduating, but has an unaccredited ordination and a wedding band. But…

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