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So You Want to Be Happy?

I’ve had many Christians tell me that happiness and joy are different. They say that joy is something we can always have, but happiness is solely based on circumstances. I get it. Joy is deeper than happiness. But I also think they are totally and completely inked to one another. To think that I could be full of joy and…

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What is a Woman’s Highest Calling?

She sat across from me in my office, trying to decide what to do next—grad school or get married. And then she said it. “Well, a woman’s highest calling is to be a wife and mother…” I was a little taken aback. At the time I was single, in my mid-thirties, completing a PhD. If she was right, I’d not…

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Problems with Purity

The youth leader held a beautiful rose in her hand, stated that it symbolized Jane’s purity, and then proceeded to tell Jane’s story. First, Jane kissed a boy and then they broke up, so the leader pulled a petal off the rose and it dropped to the floor, diminishing the rose’s beauty. Jane dated another boy for a year, but…

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On Feeling Sexy

Spring has arrived, so hats, scarves and bulky coats are being replaced. . . with bare skin. There’s something I deeply love about feeling the sun and breeze on my skin after a hard winter—it makes me feel alive! But as I looked around the other day, I wondered why some show quite so much skin. Don’t get me wrong—I…

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Masturbation in Theology Class

Just last week, I was waxing eloquent on the theological meaning of our human bodies, the impact of physicality on spirituality and vice versa, the importance of listening to our bodies and giving them what they need. . . And then it came up. By “it,” I mean a question about masturbation. She raised her hand and asked, “If we’re…

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Modesty Is For Me, Not You.

There it was, in the middle of a Christian book on young women’s sexuality. The Modesty Chapter. And there it was again, a call to dress for others. Mother told Daughter she couldn’t go out in public “like that” because the boys would be staring at her boobs. Now, I didn’t see what Daughter wore—perhaps it was totally inappropriate. But…

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Raise Your Voice With Me

Being silenced is terrible. I know too many who have been silenced by experiences that have taken their voice; some were not allowed to tell their story of abuse, others’ stories were stifled or not believed, and still others were silenced in different ways. And that silencing affects all uses of their voice. In order to regain the use of…

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Reverse “The Curse”

On Learning to Celebrate My Period Thoughts of menstruation take me back to that fated day when I first bled. I can still feel my anger and confusion. It was not a long-awaited sign of adulthood for me; rather, it felt dirty, shameful, and unwelcome. I deeply disliked the bodily experience that I would share with women everywhere, that would…

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Grateful. . .

When I’m depressed, angry, and ready to quit, I get this little red book out. Sometimes I have to get it out every day for months; other times, months pass without needing it. It’s my gratefulness journal. It was inspired by Ann Voskamp’s One Thousand Gifts (here’s her website). I read the book and bought this moleskin journal. My gratefulness…

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About Me

Welcome. I’m glad you’ve stopped by! I wish we could sit down and chat with a warm cup of coffee and some fresh chocolate chip cookies. I wish you were stopping by my little apartment with its view of the Hudson river. I’d ask you questions about life, we’d get deep, and then my son would wake up, come out, smile,…

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