A sheepish smile used to accompany the answer, “We met online,” since there was confusion as to whether it was a good way to meet people. No longer. In fact, it seems to be an incredibly common way for adults to meet one another and date.
Online dating’s been around for a while. I think it started with EHarmony’s promise of 29 dimensions of compatibility and ensuing videos of happy marriages. Online dating has now proliferated, offering more choice based on common spirituality (Christian Cafe or Christian Mingle) and even plain and simple looks (Tinder). Most sites let you search profiles for what you want in a partner.
I have many friends who have met and married people through online dating. It seems like everybody’s doing it!
I tried, and it didn’t work for me.
And yet, I recommend it, though some still feel a stigma. If you’re on the fence, not sure if this is something you want to do, think about the following…
1. If you’re not meeting anyone at your job, online dating might be right for you. Let’s face it, we spend a lot of time at work, and while some of us work in environments with many eligible partners, some don’t. If the likelihood that you’ll date someone from work is really low, you’ve finished school, and your church is a wasteland when it comes to eligible partners, you may want to open yourself up to the possibilities in online dating.
2. If you’re not really into meeting people at bars or coffeeshops, online dating might be right for you. Where will you meet someone you’d like to date? If you like hanging out at bars or coffeeshops, those is a great places to meet people. However, if that’s just not your style, it’s easy to meet people online. In fact, if you’re the type who becomes nervous in new social situations, online dating may offer just the distance you need to feel comfortable before you plunge into a first date.
3. If your friends think you’re great but they don’t know any eligible partners to set you up with, online dating might be right for you. Many dream of a great setup with a partner that already gets along with your closest friends. Often, though, friends don’t know other great single people with whom to set you up, so maybe it’s time to try the “setups” available online. Eharmony actually sets you up with those who match you in 29 dimensions, but other sites allow you to search.
4. If you want to be in a relationship, but haven’t dated in a while, online dating might be right for you. It’s okay to pursue what you want. We encourage you to pursue a career to enrich your life and the world, so why not pursue a relationship, too? Good relationships also enrich your life and the world. There’s danger in “the one” mindset and waiting to be found isn’t really recommended, so maybe it’s time to get out and try the possibilities in online dating!
Online dating didn’t work for me (very few dates resulted), but I kept doing it because I wanted to stay “in the game.” If I wanted a partner for life, I needed to position myself to find one, so I did it for a while.
True, it costs money. But isn’t your future worth the investment? Aren’t you and your dreams worth investing in? And some sites have free weekends at times—one of my friends met her husband during one of those!
“We met online” is a common answer to the question of a how a happy couple met, so if you want to be a happy couple, why not try it?
Check out Amy’s book, The Book of Womanhood